When I was a little girl, I desperately wanted a pony of my own. Being a trainer’s kid, I settled for claiming each school horse as my own. They weren’t really mine of course, and my mother was working out of another farm so even she had no control over whether the school horses went on to new homes. But I liked to pretend. I would love on them and spend time grooming them or grazing them, and if one had the day off, I might take them for a bareback adventure.
Lately, I’ve been feeling sort of…weary. I’ve certainly got a lot of things in my life to be grateful for, but with a lot going on, I’ve been feeling like I don’t have much left of myself to give at the end of each day.
Last night I dragged myself to the barn despite not feeling well, because I knew my horse needed to get out. He was a bit of a terror last week, and it’s been extra hard to find the motivation because of it. But our last two rides have been relatively normal again, and I kept things fairly easy to reinstall basic buttons.
We had a pretty simple ride and then I took Val out to his pasture, letting him graze a little before turning him out, while I scrolled through Facebook. The Trump and Hillary posts started to blend with the seemingly sudden onset of engagement and baby announcement posts, and I finally turned off the screen and just unplugged for a few minutes.
After what has seemed like an endless summer, there was finally the faintest chill to the air, and I leaned into Val’s warmth and new winter fuzz. For once, he stood still while he grazed, and let me just breathe him in. As I stood there enjoying his warmth and marveling at the lack of light pollution that allowed me to see a myriad of stars, I thought of that little girl who just wanted a pony to love.
She finally got her pony, and he’s more than she ever could have dreamed he’d be. Sometimes it’s easy for me to get caught up in my bigger goals and dreams, but sitting in the quiet and relishing in that moment, I remembered why I love this sport so much in the first place, and my soul felt a little restored.